For “should I text him?”
The Hey I Didn't Send
7-page PDF
Three questions for the ninety seconds before you hit send. The study behind why they work is on the last page.
$7 $1 Launch price
Ruby Wilder
You don't want him back.
You want to stop feeling this way.
Rereading his last text. Checking his Instagram, again. Before you send anything, there's a free place to put it: a few quick questions, then a short talk each night for thirty nights.
Start the free journal
Sound familiar?
Five things we keep doing. Each one has a smaller thing to do instead.
You've read his last text again, and drafted the one you won't send.Rereading →You checked his profile, his stories, who viewed yours.Checking →You need to hear that you're okay. One more time.Reassurance →You are guessing what he thinks, and what he meant by that.Overthinking →It's over, and you still want to text him.After Him →
Not sure which one? Start with the main note: anxious in love →
Free · 30 nights
The text you don't send goes here.
A short talk each night for thirty nights, and the journal answers back. On your phone, or printed.
Start the free journal
Who writes this
No degree, no clipboard.
I did it first and read about it after.
I'm Ruby. I'm 37, I live alone near Chicago, and I own an interior design studio. I've been sober three years.
Every note names what you're doing, not what he did. I'm not a doctor or a therapist, and I don't pretend to be.
For “should I text him?”
The newest note
Named, sourced, and one small thing to do instead.
Limerence, In Bar Language
One case study of limerence: one woman, nine months, far fewer rituals. What got measured, and what it can't tell you.
Anxious in love, named: the five things we keep doing
Rereading his texts, checking who saw your story, asking one more time, guessing, drafting. Each one named, the size of what got measured, and one small thing to do instead.
The 21 Days Thing Was Never A Study
Twenty-one days came from a plastic surgeon's book in 1960, not from research. The real number is worse, more useful, and takes the blame off you.
Nobody Claps For This Part
Eight weeks in, doing everything right, and nothing feels like anything. What two large trials actually measured about acting first and wanting it later.
The shop
Everything I made for this part.
Small on purpose. Each one is for a specific moment, and it says which on the tag.
For the minute before you text him
Before You Text Him
12 audio tapes + a PDF
Twelve ninety-second tapes for late at night, and The Morning Page for the text you parked. One tape is free on the page.
$27 $19 Launch price
For every morning after
45 Days of Evidence
58-page daily guide
Ask, look, write it down. Forty-five times. The daily practice behind everything on this site.
$27 $19 Launch price
For a slow Sunday
The Date I Owed Myself
Illustrated book
Twelve dates, a yellow notebook, one empty chair. You don't disappear all at once.
$19 $9 Launch price
Evidence, from readers
What happened when people actually used them.
No reviews yet, and I won't write any for you.
Bought one? Reply to the receipt email it came with, or message me on Instagram, and I'll add it here once I can check it's real.
Before you go
The free guide. The Inside Flags.
The next note goes up on Instagram first. Follow @rubywilder00, or get the guide, free: